The Cruelties of Shopping
by BreezyBriefs
Summary: What will happen when Android 18 drags her brother to the mall with her? This may get a bit freaky ^_~ PG for mild swearing in chapter 2
1. Go Fish

Disclaimer: I do not own dragonball z, any of it's characters....the only thing's I own are my cd's an a few pairs of jeans...honest...^_~  
  
  
  
  
  
17 looked up from the hand of cards he had been dealt. Across the table from him, his sister peered over the top of her one card as well, her icey glare piercing hs confidence like a knife. She was just daring him to make his move. He looed back down at his cards. He had no room to mess around. This game was for all the marbles. If he lost, he lost it all. He took a deep brath and looked back up at 18. Slowly, he spoke the words that would determine who won:  
  
"Got any three's?"  
  
"Nope." 18 smirked. "Go fish."  
  
17 mumbled several obscenities under his breath as he drew a six. he looked up at his sister and her one card.  
  
"Have any six's?" she asked effortlessly.  
  
17 growled and threw the card down in front of her.  
  
"Ha! I win!" 18 grinned as she set her last pair aside. She looked up at 17, evil surging through her veins so fast she seemed to glow. "You know the deal."  
  
17 sighed. "Fine, fine..." he said as he stood up, frowning. "Let's go shopping."  
  
  
  
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I know this chapter's kind of short, I'm sorry! The next chapter will be longer, I promise ^_~ Review if you like ^_^ 


	2. nachos, bag stealing punks, and threats ...

*see chapter 1 for disclaimer*  
  
authors note: i don't think androids eat nachos, but in Breezyland, they do! lol  
  
  
  
  
  
The mall was packed full of young shoppers. 17 sighed and rested his hand on the holster his gun was usually in. "18...I don't understand why you took my gun away. What's wrong with shooting a couple people?"  
  
"I TOLD you...shooting would just cause chaos...you can shoot people AFTER I'm done shopping." 18 answered as she pilfered through a rack of clothes.  
  
"This place is full of chaos as it is..." 17 grumbled. "Why did I have to come, anyways?"  
  
"To carry my bags of course..." said 18 bluntly as she handed him an arm load. "Now quit complaining or I'll make you try on bra's again." 17 shuddered at the horrible memory. 18 headed down towards the book store. "I have to go in here a second." she said, not looking back at him.  
  
"I'm gonna sit on this bench here and wait for you...is that okay, you're highness?" 17 asked as he dropped the bags onto the bench.  
  
"Fine..." said 18 in a frustrated tone. "In fact, go get yourself some nachos or something...maybe you won't complain as much when you're stuffing your face."  
  
"Fine!" yelled 17 as he watched her walk into the store. He wandered over and ordered some nachos for himself. "And could you not take forever this time?!"  
  
"Yes sir!" said the cashier as he got to work.  
  
"Good..." he said as he looked over at where he left the bags. He growled as he saw a kid trying to steal one of them. "Hey!" he exclaimed as he ran over. "Drop that bag you punk!"  
  
The kid looked at him with a scared expression and took off down the mall.  
  
17 jammed his hand into the holster. "Dammit 18! You still have my gun! ...Oh well, no worries.." He charged up a ki blast and sent it at the boy, sending him flying face first into the fountain. He chuckled evilly to himself.  
  
"17!" screamed a not very happy monotone voice from behind him. "What the hell are you doing?!"  
  
17 turned around to see 18 glaring at him hatefully. "That little waste of intellegence was trying to steal your bag!"  
  
"Moron! Did you see me go into a store called 'Pretty Kitty'?! ...That WASN'T my bag!" 18 put her hands on her hips and glared at him, just waiting to see what kind of smart ass remark her brother would come back at her with.  
  
"Well how am I supposed to keep track?! What's so wrong with hurting people, anyways?!" 17 replied angrily.  
  
"Nothing!" 18 answered. "Except now you've go them all running around and screaming like idiots! ...It's giving me a headache..."  
  
"Well that's what you get for making me go shopping." said 17 as he crossed his arms.  
  
"That's it! After I buy my book we're going bra shopping!" exclaimed 18. And witht hat, she stomped back into the book store.  
  
"Damn!" he cursed as he walked back over to the food stand.  
  
"Here you go, sir!" said the cashier through a smile. "Freshly made in record time!"  
  
17 snatched them out of his hand. "If I had my gun I'd shoot you." He walked back over and sat on the bench.  
  
  
  
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Okey days, that's the end of chapter 2. Now I'm kinda stuck on chapter 3, so it might be a little bit. If you have any suggestions or things you'd like to see happen, go ahead and put them in your review and we'll see what I can do, alrighties? ^_^ 


	3. Who is the evilest of the android twins?...

*see chapter 1 for disclaimer*  
  
warning: don't read if you get mad when people make fun of 17 ^_~  
  
The sound of 17's shoes screeching on the floor echoed througout the hallways of the mall as 18 dragged him towards Victoria's Secret.  
  
"Don't even TRY to get out of it!" exclaimed 18 through clenched teeth. "You brought this on yourself!"  
  
"YOU brought this on by making me come with you!" 17 snapped back. "Now stoppit...you're ruining my shoes."  
  
18 payed no attention to her brothers complaint and continued to drag him into the store. She looked around. "Now let's see...what color should it be today? ...Purple? Red? Green?....Ah, I know!" She grabbed a light blue one off of a near by rack and held it up to him. "This one. It'll really bring out the color in your eyes." she said as she grinned evilly.  
  
17 looked at the bra in disgust. "No way in hell am I putting that thing on! Find some other sick minded moron to humiliate!"  
  
"But you're the only sick minded moron I LIKE to humiliate." She stuck the bra in his hand and pointed to the dressing rooms. "Now go...or I'll make it a bra and panties matching set." She grinned her sweet yet evil grin.  
  
17 grumbled to himself and made his way into a dressing room. "This is ridiculous. I swear, when we were babies she must've been dropped on her head." Ten minutes later, after more griping and strugging himself into the bra, 17 emerged from the dressing room hesitantly and looked around.  
  
"Oh my gosh...THAT is classic!" said 18 as she doubled over with laughter.  
  
"Ha..ha...ha....okay, you've seen it, can I go take this thing off now?"17 asked with a frown.  
  
18 thought for a second. "Hmm...you know what? I think just to make sure you don't complain any more...you're gonna wear that around the mall for the rest of the day."  
  
"WHAT?! No way! It's bad enough that you bring me here against my will, make me sit on the bench forever while you're in the stores buying clothes you'll NEVER wear, and making me carry your bags everywhere! There's no way you're going to make me wear a bra, too!" 17 just stood there and stared his sister dead in the eye.  
  
Finally, she spoke three deadly words. "Is that so?"  
  
18 strolled out of the store 15 minutes later, a satisfied smile illuminating her face. She looked over her shoulder and called, "Come on, 17...we have more shopping to do!"  
  
17 reluctantly sauntered out of the store, wearing matching black satin pants and robe, and the light blue bra 18 had him try on earlier. On his feet were fuzzy light blue slippers. He looked at 18 with anger churning in his eyes. "When I get my gun back the first thing I'm doing is shooting you."  
  
"Ha! Go ahead, it won't hurt me." 18 said calmly as she headed towards the nearest clothing store. "Come on 17."  
  
17 growled and mumbled various obscenities under his breath. He grabbed the bags and followed her. Judging by how chipper 18 was, he could tell she had an even worse plan brewing in her head for if he didn't comply with her wishes again.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ what will happen next?! Breezy has no clue at this moment in time...yall shall just have to wait and see! ^_^ If you have any suggestions, stick 'em in a review ^_~ 


	4. Will 17 get his revenge? You bet your ar...

*see chapter 1 for disclamier*  
  
okay, i'm sorry if this chapter sucks..my cat woke me up at 7 this morning and i couldn't go back to sleep so i wrote this ^_~  
  
p.s. I don't own Avril Lavigne, either...but I DO think she's cool ^_^  
  
17 once again sat on a bench, watching his sister power-shop inside another clothing store. "She's such a bitch.." he said to himself. He looked down at his lovely apparel and frowned. "I HAVE to get her back for this."  
  
Just then 18 came out of the store with 5 more bags. "Let's move on." she said as she pulled him to his feet. "These humans are starting to get on my nerves."  
  
"How can they NOT?" 17 asked as he gathered up the bags and reluctantly followed his sister down the mall.  
  
18 chuckled slightly. "Good point." she agreed as she looked around, trying to decide where to go next.  
  
17's eyes suddenly lit up. "Hey, check it out! A toy store!" he exclaimed with excitement, as if regressing back to childhood.  
  
"No, 17...come on.." said 18 without looking back. "Remember what happened the LAST time you went in the toy store?"  
  
"Chill out, sis..." he retorted. "I just wanna look." He dropped the bags on a bench and sauntered over to a display of Power Wheel cars. "Hey look, I can be just like that Avril Lavigne chick!" he said as he sat in one.  
  
"You watch way too much television." 18 said as she crossed her arms and smirked at him.  
  
"I know..." he agreed as he turned the little key in the ignition and pushed the petal down. "Woah! Watch out!" he exlaimed as he took off towards 18, trying to run her over.  
  
"17!" she exlaimed in a once again not so happy monotone voice. "What are you trying to do?! Get us kicked out of the mall?!"  
  
"Yeah! Is it working?!" he called over his shoulder as he drove into the toy store, flying down aisles and knocking things off shelves.  
  
"17! Stoppit!" 18 spat angrily. "Honestly! Could you act any more like a child?!"  
  
17 growled. "Yes!" he answered bluntly. He ramped over a pool full of toys and jumped out of the car, watching it fly into a rack of nintendo games.  
  
18 scoffed. "Yeah right! I'd like to see THAT happen." she retailiated, smoke nearly blowing out of her ears.  
  
"Um...excuse me, miss?" asked a security guard as he tapped 18 on the shoulder.  
  
"Don't touch me! ...What do you want?" she asked, looking over her shoulder at him.  
  
"Are you related to that man?" the security guard asked, motioning to 17.  
  
18 thought for a second. "No." she replied. Why do you ask?"  
  
An evil grin slowly spread across 17's face. He dropped to his hands and knees and crawled over to 18. "Mommy?" he said in his best little kid voice as he looked up at her.  
  
18 growled. "17! What are you doing?!"  
  
"Mommy! Care go boom!" was his only reply.  
  
"I'm sorry, ma'am, but you're gonna have to pay for all the damage your son did." the security guard said with a sweatdrop.  
  
"Hey idiot!" she exclaimed. "Does it LOOK like I'm old enough to have a son THAT old?!" She pointed to 17, who was now sucking his thumb.  
  
"I'm sorry ma'am, but rules are rules are rules.." said the security guard, slightly backing away.  
  
"I don't HAVE that kind of money!" said 18 through clenched teeth, her eyes almost seeming to glow red with anger.  
  
"That's okay.." said the security guard as he grabbed her arm. "We'll just have you work it off."  
  
*******************************  
  
17 came out of the bathroom in his normal clothes and dropped the conglomeration of satin he ha been wearing before on the ground. "Good riddance.." he said as eh ki blasted them, turning them into a steaming pile of ash on the ground. "Now, for my laugh of the day."  
  
He headed back out into the mall to the Santa Clause Village. He looked around, and after spotting his sister, chuckled to himself evilly.  
  
18 was dressed in a little elf costume, holding a bag of candy canes. The costume consisted of a green dress that came down to just above her knees where it met red and white striped stockings, a matching green elf hat, and green elf shoes with little red jingle bells on the toes.  
  
She grabbed the next kid in line to sit in Santas lap, slammed a candy cane in his hand, and threw him into Santa. Crossing her arms, she looked over at her brother. She glared and mouthed the words "I hate you."  
  
17 just smiled and waved, then looked at the long line of kids that still awaited their turn. He stuck his hands in his pockets and gave a satisfied sigh. Revenge had never tasted so sweet. 


End file.
